Alcohol- A wolf in sheep’s clothing

That was a bit of fun in the last post, personifying Al Cahole, giving him a voice. Boy is he an up himself arsehole, but the serious side is it allows me to have a dialogue between different parts of me that are often contradictory and at loggerheads.

Take relationships for example. Al was perfectly correct, I was an awkward, stumbling bag of nerves around girls when I was a teenager. Alcohol changed everything, it gave me a confidence and release from anxiety that was literally intoxicating. So pattern established, you want to meet girls, get drinking. The downside is drinking hardly helps with Libido; as Skakespeare puts it:

Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.

That’s the thing with alcohol, it promises much, delivers occasionally but always comes at a cost.

The part of me that likes alcohol remembers the good times with alcohol; the fun, the parties, doing crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally do, the feeling of abandoning the stifling restrictions of day to day life, the promise of the unexpected, dangerous liasions,excitement and unpredictability. Another side remembers the not so good times, all provided courtesy alcohol; arguments with friends, stealing a barrel of beer at University from a young Conservatives party and being set upon and by 10 big blokes, being driven home by a drunk driver, seeing a friend drink himself to death following a relationship breakdown, couples swearing and fighting in the street after a “Prosecco” night, embarrassing my kids, the list goes on and funny how you never see these scenes shown on any alcohol advertising.

I know that I am giving up alcohol in just over a week’s time but doing this blog and having the run up has really thrown up so many contradictory thoughts and feelings. I will be leaving something that has been very important to me and I know it’s going to be bloody hard to navigate certain situations without a drink, I’m excited at the prospect of feeling and being different without drink and I’m also terrified of feeling and being different without alcohol. For me, the relationship has broken down and something had to give, but already, even before stopping, I can sense the enormity of what lies ahead and boy do I now massively respect those who have managed to successfully travel this particular path. Soon it will be time for me to shear that sheep and confront the ferocious wolf in a final showdown.(sorry, unnecessarily dramatic language there).

Thanks for stopping by

Jim x

6 thoughts on “Alcohol- A wolf in sheep’s clothing

  1. sobrietytree

    “and funny how you never see these scenes shown on any alcohol advertising.” so true… I think we can all relate to this.

    I still have those old feelings arise sneaking up sometimes… just last weekend I was thinking my life would be more fun with booze. Thank goodness I kept a diary so I know that’s not true. It’s a very tricky old hound, that guy!

    Every time I make it past that occasional nostalgia, I am so glad to still be on this path. I remember why I chose this path, and those reasons have a value that outweigh that of the reasons for wanting to drink again.

    Kudos for your honesty and sharing, and sending strengthy vibes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      I’m hoping it’s going to bit a bit like when I quit smoking, craving at first especially certain social triggers, then lessening and now just looks so uncool. Fingers crossed. Diary idea is a good one!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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