100 Days- My, Doesn’t Time Fly- And Don’t Mention Tests

A very dear friend asked me a few days ago when I would be at the 100 Day mark and when I looked I realised it was today. So yes 100 days and like so many fellow exboozebloggers I’m slightly amazed that I have reached this point.  The feeling I have? I’d say it’s a calm, satisfied, proud and yet a not complacent feeling. There’s a little bit of relief mixed in too; relief that the anxiety, deprivation and feeling of being denied and resentful are slowly but surely subsiding.   Is there a single word for this mix of feelings?  The Germans would surely have one or be able to make one up, so in the spirit of Shakespeare who loved making up new words I’m going to coin a new word for this heady mix of feelings.  Here goes, I feel “ubersobrenicalmsatisfigolent” a catchy word you’ll surely  agree and which I am immediately going to trademark and send to the OED for  inclusion in next year’s dictionary.

So yes, feeling unexpectedly good about being sober and like Anne in her nomorebeer blog I had an experience that gave me a  real awareness that much has changed in my relationship to alcohol.  I was in London at the weekend for an old friend’s 60th birthday celebrations.  I knew this was on the horizon when I stopped drinking and was secretly dreading the ocassion. Same old stuff; would I be able to enjoy the ocassion, would I spend my time miserably pining for a drink etc etc. The key thing was that I had 3 months under my belt and had experienced  a few pub, social, restaurant type events. The world had not ended and so I approached the weekend feeling fairly confident in my powers of staying AF. In truth it was fairly easy.  It helped that we ended up playing ping pong in one of those noisy sport based bars they have now in London, but I really didn’t feel the inclination to drink. It was like the years of conditioning were breaking down around me.  I watched as people gradually got drunk and its so easy to spot the real drinkers in a group, the ones who order extra drinks between drinks. Towards the end of the evening I actually wasn’t enjoying the evening much and not becasue I was not drinking.  It was just a bit boring.  It struck me, as others have also pointed out, that before  as a drinker I would have drunk a lot and after a two day hangover might have said, “oh yeh, had a great time on Saturday… blah blah” and it would have been the drink making it seem like it was a fun night when in reality it wasn’t. I then thought about all those nights when I did drink copiously in a desperate attempt to make it seem I was having a great time.  I did have some good times when drinking, for sure, but I think a lot of the drinking ocassions I experienced were average at best, needing booze to create the impression, the illusion of  good times.

I know what for me makes a good time ; chatting to friends, walks, laughing, listening to and playing music, cuddles , good food, games. On Saturday I looked around the bar at one point and could see slurring words, nascent hangovers, women in their 60s groping young waiters. It was all a bit grim and I felt so good being sober.  Anne’s last post was saying something similar and I put a comment that ,”this drinking season may well reinforce rather than threaten our sobriety.” and this has happened for me. I’m feeling increasingly lucky and pleased to be free of drinking.  I’ve had enough of the language of denial, of being tested.  Stuff your tests, I’m done with drinking, it’s not cool, it fucks you up and it doesn’t mean you are going to be happy.  Like all drugs it peddles an illusion, it sells us a lie. Right, got that off my chest.

Sorry, got a little carried away there.

It’s coming up to Christmas, great.  Lots of things to look forward to.  Not a test in sight now, just calm, clear reinforcement of one of the best decisions I ever made. A warm feeling envelops me, not smugness , but pride, not complacency but a certainty, all feels calm.  Yes I’m feeling  “ubersobrenicalmsatisfigolent” all over  again.  Lovely.

AF Cheers everyone

Jim x

21 thoughts on “100 Days- My, Doesn’t Time Fly- And Don’t Mention Tests

  1. clairei47

    Congratulations on the 100 day mark … and you should be proud. It’s an amazing achievement. I’m feeling ubersobrenicalmsatisfigolent for you (I’m not sure it’s going to catch on Jim – it doesn’t exactly trip of the tongue!)
    It’s good to hear that the feelings I’m experiencing at social events do subside and to know it just starts to feel easier all round.
    Well done 👏, stick doing the things that do make you happy and are a true ‘good time’ ☺️
    Love Claire xx

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  2. Nelson

    Wow. Well said, and all so true. Amazing how we can’t see the beast for what it is while we’re entertaining it eh? The change in you is reflected in the tone/tenor of your writing as well. Congrats my friend, and welcome to the other side. The challenge now, as I know all too well, is to stay here and not be beguiled back. 👍💜

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  3. nomorebeer2019

    Wow Jim. How far we have come!!! Three months ago I never would have thought we would eventually start to think like this. For me this is the post in which you manifest the biggest change so far. I really am impressed and very admirative – I feel as usual like you’re a couple of steps ahead of me, and the idea that the “fear of missing out” gradually subsides and gets replaced with the calm certainty of ubersobrenicalmsatisfigolenness (my…what a wonderful, simple, transparent, easy to use term!!) is thrilling and gives me SO MUCH JOY/HOPE. Oh, and 100% yes to this : “its so easy to spot the real drinkers in a group, the ones who order extra drinks between drinks”: this used to be me, and I used to think no one could notice what I was doing…. now when I spot these people I feel a mix of compassion and gratitude at no the fact that I no longer want/need to do what they’re doing. So congrats on 100 days Jim. This is HUGE, and like you, I am looking forward to this first sober Xmas: can’t wait to see what it’s going to be like 🙂 xxx Anne

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    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Thanks Anne. We started together and that means a lot. Glad you like my simple new word. I think it will catch on quickly .its already gone viral! 2 people have used it in only hour and a half! 😉 Jim x

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  4. Lovie Price

    oh my, yes, i remember my first few events as a sober person.It’s REALLY tough as an artist in the arts community. It’s pretty much expected that we bohemian types use vices constantly ( of course i did for a long time so the stereotype isn’t completely wrong).A lot of creative type( poets, musicians, artists, etc) i know use some form of chemical , whether it’s booze, pot, or other wise and these vices are just abundant as h*ll at events.After the first few though i started playing a game with myself – watching certain people & making private bets in my head as to who would fall down first , who would spill the first drink, who would throw up. It passed the time until i could leave graciously. But, besides that , it was a huge eye opener as to how i used to be and how i was so glad NOT to be anymore.

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    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Ah the curse of being an artist😉but I know exactly what you mean. I remember as a former smoker that even when everyone else was giving up , the amateur theatre group I was in, everyone smoked and the end of show parties were always excessive. You’re right though watching the effects of booze on people over a few hours is a great way of reinforcing ones own sobriety. Thanks for your comment. Jim

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  5. boozebrain

    Brilliant. My brain can’t pronounce that word but I hope they do include it in the next urban dictionary. Congratulations on 100 days. A fine milestone. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Cheers and Ho Ho Ho

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  6. sobrietytree

    “I’m done with drinking, it’s not cool, it fucks you up and it doesn’t mean you are going to be happy. Like all drugs it peddles an illusion, it sells us a lie.”

    — Jim Simmonds, coiner of the word “ubersobrenicalmsatisfigolent,” OED, 2020.

    Congrats Jim, you are the sober bomb with aplomb. 🎸🤘🎉💃🏼

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