Finally – Being Sober Trumps Drinking Booze! (No Contest)

To anyone reading this who is doing dry January or is just a few weeks into going alcohol free, I know what you’re going through! It feels like denial, it’s difficult, you’re giving up something you like, is it worth it you think. These are the things probably going through your mind.

After 4 months and after experiencing many of those same mental tortures I can say this; it does get easier, you will feel the benefits, the cravings lessen, even though the pressures do not, but something else then happens. Or at least it did for me and I know for many others that have stopped drinking.

Something magical happens. A turning point, a revelation if you like. You start to see giving up alcohol as preferable to drinking it. Sounds simple but it’s actually monumental. What started as denial and giving up becomes like receiving something wonderful and it feels liberating.

I’ve had a few experiences like that in the last month but yesterday was something else. I had a day out in London where not only did I not drink, I didn’t at any point want a drink , I was pleased to be sober. No doubts no qualms. It felt quite simply great. Best day out in years.

It started by the simple act of driving to the station. Normally a day out in London in the past meant lots of alcohol so no car to station but asking for lifts or ordering a taxi. First act of liberation. I then arrived in London and had arranged to meet a small group of fellow Soberistas; a small group of people that I’d never met before but who shared the same goal of giving up booze. No difficult moments or questions with this bunch. None of us drank alcohol. That in itself was liberating. Straight into the nearest pub for a coffee. Then on to one of this great little cafes you can still find tucked away in the less fashionable parts of Covent Garden. Poached eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, sourdough, a brilliant full breakfast all for just £6.50. All the time, laughter, great conversation, more coffees, fruit juices. We were having a great time. Why did I ever believe you need alcohol to feel at ease with new people? Within a couple of hours it was as if we’d known each other for years. Simply liberating.

Then later hopping on tubes, visiting the V and A , Hyde Park, swapping stories and experiences. A great day, getting to know new people and actually listening to each other not getting slowly pissed. After a wonderful day full of enriching, warm conversations and companionship we went our separate ways. I actually stayed awake on the train, drove myself home and was then able to spend my evening productively. It was so much better than getting drunk, talking garbage and falling asleep on the train, waiting to be picked up and the losing the rest of the evening and the next day to a hangover.

During my day out I never once felt denied or that I was missing out. If anything I look back at all my drunken trips and now realise how much I was missing out on those days. Lost opportunities. For me the penny finally dropped. Life was better sober.

I hope those in the early stages of not drinking stick it out. After the struggle really does come the liberation. Many say the same thing. I have come to see that life is better, brighter and more fulfilling sober. Yes it takes time but it’s worth it. Try it but give yourself time to get the conditioning and social pressure out of your system.

As a postscript I have to add that spending the day with other sober people really made the day extra special. Thanks, you know who you are! Just think, if we were still drinking we would never have met! Let’s do it again soon. There may be some who might want to join us! 😀

Jim x

47 thoughts on “Finally – Being Sober Trumps Drinking Booze! (No Contest)

  1. clairei47

    It sounds like you had a brilliant time Jim. What a great thing to do. Sometimes the simplest of days can bring the best moments. Experiencing them sober makes them even more magical and special.
    Claire xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      That was definitely the case. Have you had any similar experiences yet, I think you are around the 2 month mark? I can recommend meeting up with other Soberistas, you should try it, or even better join us next time! Jim x

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. clairei47

        I am approaching 2 months and I am incredibly grateful for the support I’ve had from this blogging community and yes, I have ventured to meet other soberistas! I had the sane experience as you. Wonderful!!
        I’d love to join you
        Claire x

        Like

  2. nomorebeer2019

    “Best day out in years” :YES YES YES ! I am so happy for you Jim 🙂 It really is a kind of revelation isn’t it ? I keep repeating this over and over, but who would have thought we would be not just saying but also thinking and feeling this 4 months in ? Anyway happy 4 months and YAY to also spending time with sober people – it’s a nice break from being the “odd one out”. xxxx Anne

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  3. Dana Pescrillo

    How wonderful for you Jim! I’m still in the early stages, still grappling with the difficulty of not drinking, but I am pushing day by day to get to where you are with the joy of not drinking. 49 days in, 76 days to go to get to 125 without drinking. By then, as you’ve wrote, I should feel the liberation (at least to some degree)! xo,

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Hi Dana, I really didn’t expect to get to a point so early where I was glad not to be drinking. I think being with other non drinkers definitely helped. Do you have a few people like that near you? Next Saturday I’m seeing a drinking friend but we are doing something I want which doesn’t involve sitting in pubs. Sometimes we have to take the initiative and call the tune! So on Saturday it’s long walk and THEN a pub lunch. I suppose you’d call that a compromise 😉 – you’re doing well Dana! Great stuff. Jim x

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dana Pescrillo

        I do have friends I can do things with that don’t involve alcohol. Even my husband has opened up to other adventures that don’t involve drinking. It’s more me. I miss it. I had gotten to a place where drinking was wrecking as big of a havoc it once did, however, there were still a few times where I did overdo it. Thus the want to give it up, so those few “overdo” it times won’t happen again. As for you, what a wonderful gift of the unexpected, to be glad not to be drinking at only four months. But you have your mindset in the right place, which is the majority of the battle! Have fun on Saturday!

        Like

  4. clairei47

    I’m on day 50 today and I feel similar to you Dana. I think this is a really difficult time but I’m determined to reach that turning point that Jim has talked about. I know it’s there and I’m having more and more fabulous sober experiences as time goes on. 😁

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
    1. Dana Pescrillo

      I agree Claire, I’m determine to get to that point as well. I have seen benefits, which is something I need to focus on rather than the hardship of not drinking at times. Stay your course, you are doing well!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      What Wendy says, I do! 🙂So yes Wendy I fully intend to keep on. It’s really great to meet up with other sober folk. It’s nice seeing that just because they’re sober, sober folks can be just as funny, smart, quirky, fun and exciting as anyone else, more so! Jim x

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      It was fun, all without the so called anxiety reducing drug we all used to know so well. Between you and me (and keep this between us ) there was even some not very discreet flirting going on. 😉 Jim x

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  5. gr8ful_collette

    I’m almost 10 months alcohol free now and I completely agree with you. It is hard at first but you get to a point where you’re not expecting, looking or hoping for it, and you can have a great time without it. Sober people make life so much better. Also, it’s really cool when you are around people who usually drink a lot and find them passing on the booze too. 🙂 Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s