Lazy and Complacent- Almost!

Two weeks!

I’ve not posted in over two weeks, not really read other blogs or made comments. I feel so ashamed it has made me even more reluctant to come on here. But now I have to face up to my dereliction of duty. I hid my head in shame until an angel showed me the light.

Claire (ditching the wine) recently emailed me a spoof Jim blog to spur me into action. I was touched.  Someone cared.  She wrote, pretending to be me:

“I know, I know. You are such a caring, lovely bunch, your first thoughts are bound to be ‘Why? Is he ill? Is he on a bender? Has he struck up a recording deal and is now planning his world tour?’ Nope! Afraid not. Basically he’s just become very complacent. This also translates as being a lazy arse. He can’t be bothered with his blog any longer. He’s sober now. Moving on. He’s leaving all your bloggers behind. He might ‘pop’ in from time to time, to keep the fans happy but otherwise he doesn’t need it. “

Now I know Claire was/is being ironic. She is a nice, caring and compassionate person as are all the lovely sober bloggers and yet….  there was an uncomfortable accusation within. Could there be a germ of truth in what she had to say? Sure, I could make excuses and to be fair, they are pretty good excuses; work, commitments, planned big events,  relationships etc but these affect everyone.  I carved out time before, so what’s happened? What’s different? I think Claire hit the nail on the head; COMPLACENCY!

20 weeks sober, Christmas and new year successfully navigated, cravings and urges to drink very intermittent; yes I suppose there has been a bit of complacency kicking in.

Claire continued to write;

We all know this isn’t about what we write, or whether we are 5 days, 5 months or 5 years sober. This is about community, support and connection. We all need help it at different times, and when we feel strong that’s the time to help others that don’t. Jim will learn. He’ll see it eventually.

She’s right of course (God it’s so hard to admit that!), giving up booze and the boozing way of life is not a static thing it’s an ongoing process and I only got to where I am thanks to those who are further on the journey but looked back down the path shouting their support and encouragement.

So thanks Claire.  I needed that proverbial kick up the pants.

Complacency? Yes a little and that can be a bad thing.  Last week I played a table tennis match and met a new player on the scene.  He was very defensive in the warm up.  No attacking shots.  “This will be easy,”I thought to myself. “Just attack and he’ll fall to pieces.” Except he didn’t.  He returned every shot, did so with unexpected amouts of backspin and wore me down into a frustrated mess. I underestimated him. HE BEAT ME! How dare he! I was supposed to win.

Pride and complacency, right before a massive fall.  It happened in table tennis, it could happen with alcohol. I can almost hear that voice,” You’ve done brilliantly Jim, you have shown you can master alcohol, you are the Uberfuhrer of Soberistas.  With that amount of control you’d be fine at just allowing yourself the odd glass of Merolt/Shiraz/Malbec.Go on man, live a little, you deserve it, sod all this denial.” Get thee behind me Bacchus!

Yep the little voices are still there, tempting me so no room for complacency.

Then there’s the need to reciprocate.  I have benefitted massively from the likes of untipsy teacher and others who have been sober for years.  They continue because it’s not just about one journey, not just about them, it’s about supporting others; it’s about community. I need to do my bit. I still need the support or may need it.  I need to try and support others as well in whatever way I can. So  thanks Claire, for prodding, poking fun, bullying in a nice way and cajoling.   I needed that.

Now I just need to think what to post!

Jim x

 

 

35 thoughts on “Lazy and Complacent- Almost!

  1. Untipsyteacher

    Hi Jim!
    I have to take little breaks once in awhile. I sometimes struggle with what to write, as well at times.
    If I ever decide to take a long media break, I will try to remember to tell you guys, so people don’t think I’m drinking again, or something bad happened.
    But, after awhile, I notice most long term sober people drop way back in posts and comments, mostly because they have very busy lives!
    And that is the purpose of getting sober, to lead healthy happy lives!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. msnewleaf

    Ahhh, that Claire! ❤️She’s terrific. Thanks for sharing that. If you have to take a break, you should take a break! But the complacency thing does seem like something we all should keep an eye on…

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. gr8ful_collette

    Glad you were spurred back into action! I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. Complacency is the devil. As my grandpa used to remind me, Never turn your back on the ocean…” 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Thanks Lovie
      I know you’ve been having a tough time from looking at your posts. The great thing on here, these blogs, is that the support, IMO, is real and genuine. Unlike the facebook world,the support on here has a depth and genuineness which really does mutually support people. People do care and respond when you reach out. Jim x

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lovie Price

        i agree…and have been much more positive since returning to the blogosphere. I feel like i can take my time and express myself , and not just trying to find a way to compress it all into a witty /attention getting/ eye catching post geared towards self validation. I do occasionally lament that when i post about recovery, many of the bloggers i have started to interact with do not comment as much as i would like. But given that i have been posting EVERY SINGLE DAY, i guess i understand . After my 6 month commitment to such is up ( jan. 27th) i will likely reduce my posts but hopefully increase valuable content since i will take more time to think about what to say. Thanks so much for your support here. It means more than i can express.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Jim Simmonds Post author

        No it’s that you have been very honest and open about some struggles which I suppose means you trust the people on here which is great. But yes, share the happy stuff as well! Jim x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. emmachadwick1981

    We are at similar stages and I know what you mean it’s probably why I’ve been thinking about moderate drinking. There’s also less to write about after while, i used to post twice a week and now I’m once week if I’m lucky! So happy it’s going well for you though xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      I think about moderate drinking but I’ve tried it and I’m prone to excess simple as that, but it’s not just that. I think now I actually prefer being alcohol free and that’s been an unexpected shift. I worried I’d have a future feeling I was being denied, missing out, but no longer. It’s feels great being AF but it’s how you feel personally about it. Good luck. Jim x

      Liked by 1 person

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  5. Addy

    So glad things are going well. You are allowed a bit of complacency, after all, you are finding other things in life to enjoy and alcohol is not even worth a mention. But you are right to be on your guard at times too, just in case Mr Alcohol pats you on the back like a long-lost friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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