3 Months AF – YIPPEE!

Unbelievable . Who would have thought it? In two days time it will be three months since I last had a life. I think back to how I was back in early March and it seems a lifetime ago- wasting my life hiking, meeting people, singing in close proximity to others and having, what I thought at the time, was the time of my life. – what a jerk. How deluded can one be. Now after three months being AF (Allthethingsthatmakelifeworthliving Free) I can honestly say I feel a completely different person. My life has genuinely been transformed. Being AF has brought so many advantages, I just wish I had discovered the AF lifestyle years ago. For those looking to take the plunge here I some of the things that I can now “enjoy” in my new AF life:

Ain't life a scream!
Ain’t life a Scream!
  • I now can now relate to other people via a fuzzy computer screen and don’t have to put up with their nasty body odour
  • I’ve saved a fortune not going into restaurants and cinemas
  • Family gatherings where you had to think of an excuse to leave early are a distant memory
  • I finally don’t have to say to people “give me some space”
  • FOMO has completely dissipated. There’s no longer anything to miss out on
  • My hair and beard can grow luxuriously for once
  • Supermarket shopping is a pleasant, ordered experience not crammed to rafters
  • Being jostled at gigs and trying to see bands over the heads of others is a thing of the past
  • I wake up each day and don’t have a clue which day it is or what I should be doing
  • There is absolutely no point planning anything anymore

So with all those benefits, have I any words of advice to others who want to experience the joys of being AF? Well, Yes, try and create your very own pandemic for a start. Maybe destroy large areas of natural habitat and start eating animals that previously were not part of the food chain. Create huge areas of humanity crammed into small places with not much money and you’ll soon get your AF life up and running. Even better, elect an incompetent set of leaders and then you can just settle back and watch your new AF life unfold before your very eyes without you having to do anything. Oh, there will be some tough times ahead, there are some downsides. The AF lifestyle isn’t plain sailing. You may have to witness some nasty scenes on television and watch the disadvantaged suffering disproportionately , but then again, we should all be used to that by now. As for the nasty images on the telly why not switch off the news, do a jigsaw, watch a cartoon or do a family zoom quiz.

Yes sir, 3 months AF. Who would have thought it? That’s a landmark well worth noting.

Anyone seen my mask? Hello, is anyone there?

Jim X

19 thoughts on “3 Months AF – YIPPEE!

  1. clairei47

    Love this post though I was totally confused at first and worried you had serious memory failure and forgotten nearly 7 months of your life!

    I don’t feel this type of AF lifestyle is permanently for me. If I could fall off the wagon I would!!
    Claire x

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    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Believe me Claire, I could never forget the last 7 months of my life! I sometimes forget where I’ve left my reading glasses though! No this alternative AF lifestyle is not for me either. Here’s to seeing the back of it and some normality returning soon! Jim X

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  2. nomorebeer

    Lol hang in there Jim. I really hope the world will return to some kind of normal in less than a year. I’m sick of the post-apocalyptic atmosphere. But it is comforting to remember there is no FOMO cause ain’t nothing much to miss out on anymore. xxx Anne

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    1. Jim Simmonds Post author

      Hi Anne
      I think we will return to normal ,business dictates it thus and all the togetherness stuff will also be forgotten. I’m not one to use a cliche but , it’s a funny old world. But we’ve been sober throughout and that is quite mind boggling 😀X

      Liked by 1 person

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