Well, here we are again. Back in blogland. I have been very remiss. Not reading, commenting or writing on WordPress but staying pretty chilled all the same. I think I’ve been hibernating like a little hedgehog, curled up in a tight ball waiting for the vaccine spring to wake me from my slumber. Staying in my nest thinking it’s not worth getting savaged by the Covid fox just weeks before putting on my astrazeneca suit of armour. To be honest it’s been quite pleasant; daily walks, food deliveries, bit of online work, lots of reading and the luxury of not really having to do much at all. I was expecting to stay like that until about March but then just a couple of days ago I got the message to book my vaccination. That was a surprise and so I went today and had it. Brilliant. I have to say, the vaccine rollout is one thing this government has got right and that’s probably because it’s been organised by the wonderful NHS rather than outsourced to some incompetent private company run by the husband/wife/brother/sister/friend of a sitting conservative MP. Enough of the politics, it’s great that so many people here are now getting the vaccine and with that the prospect of “not quite normal” ” normality” returning fairly soon.
Maybe that’s what’s prompted me to write. I’ve had the vaccine and that marks my own wake up call to start doing some of the things that I have put on hold. My first step was rereading my last post and boy what a miserable read that was. I wonder if anyone else has had that sensation of reading a previous post and thinking, “What was going on there?” I was in full feeling a bit sorry for myself mode and painted a slightly skewed picture of what was going on for me at the time. Oh well, that was then and this is now. Maybe the growing distance between me and my drinking days is gradually giving me a much clearer idea of the how’s and why’s of my drinking and allowing me to find new ways of being and feeling in situations that previously were always marked by a desire to drink. With that distance comes a realisation that I didn’t need drink as much as I thought I did. That in turn means I can look forward to a booze free life from here on in without the trepidation I had when I first embarked on sobriety.
Do I still miss drinking? Very occasionally, but it really doesn’t feel such a big deal and all I have to do is remind myself that I was rubbish at moderation, remember the hangovers and the central place booze had occupied in my life and all I feel is self gratitude for making and sticking to that decision to give up.
That will do for today. I have more I’d like to write about but if I keep that in store maybe that will prompt me to do another post within the next few days and not leave such a big gap as has happened this time. I have no doubt that writing this blog helped me make the massive beneficial change of giving up booze and I am curious to find out if it will help in one or two other areas. Let’s see. I know I’m not the only one to have let things slide but I’m looking forward to doing a bit of catch up with the other blogs of old friends.
Jim X
Life Beyond Booze 