Now’s surely not the time to consider giving up the booze Jim- Oh yes it is!

It’s already a cliche, but it’s true- we are living in strange times. But also counter-intuitive times. I’ve now had people with anxiety and depression telling me they feel oddly more relaxed and better than before the Corona crisis, isolated people saying how comforting it is to not be the only ones isolated, indeed the crisis has led some to be more connected than ever before. Strange times indeed.

That got me thinking about alcohol. I haven’t spoken much about this subject since the outbreak of the virus because it didn’t seem of much consequence, I was wrong. This is the perfect time to talk about alcohol and in a rare moment of Jim giving advice I would say to anyone reading this considering giving up alcohol- do it and do it now- it’s the perfect opportunity.

Steady on Jim. People are drinking at this time and for many it’s a welcome relief, a source of comfort and pleasure, only a sadistic bastard would advise people to give up at this time of most need. What’s wrong with you, show a little compassion man.

Yes, it does seem counter intuitive but hear me out. If I were still drinking, this lock down for me would be open season for binge drinking. It would be like being on holiday; no major work commitments, unstructured days, minimal driving and no censorial judgements. It’s lock down! Wear your dressing gown all day, binge on box sets, eat chocolate and ooh look its midday let’s have a G and T. I would be knocking it back slow and steady, spending days in what I would have considered hazy, disconnected bliss. Except it wouldn’t be bliss for long. I’d start feeling rough in the mornings, guilt would creep in as would post drinking anxiety. I would get grumpy and take out my self revulsion on my partner. In short I would quickly become a mess.

So clearly this is directed not at the glass of wine a day brigade but the serious drinkers, the ones who find it hard to stop in the absence of normal restrictions. Drinkers like me (I’m now happily 7 months sober by the way). So here’s the thing. Why is now the perfect time to stop?

Reason 1 If you don’t stop it will be easy to find yourself in holiday mode and your drinking issue could easily spiral into a serious drinking problem as outline above.

Reason 2 If , like me, your drinking is conditioned to a large extent by social events this is the perfect opportunity to stop because those social triggers have ceased to exist. No pubs to negotiate or restaurants to sit in watching others knock back the wine. No family BBQs or big birthdays. No Easter get togethers or beach picnics. Some of the key anxiety producing events for people trying to stop drinking have vanished. Even if you wanted them they do not exist for the moment. So sieze that opportunity. It’s like having a head start. My first two months of sobriety were spent dealing with these social triggers and having to summon up massive amounts of will power to get me through. It seriously does get easier after the first two months so this lock down situation is like being in rehab without the £1000 a week price tag. So you can see, you would be mad NOT to use this opportunity to give up drinking if you have been seriously considering it.

Reason 3 The BIG one! This is the one that could be the difference between life and death. Seriously. Alcohol is bad for our immune system. Fact. Don’t just listen to me I’m not a doctor, but listen to these guys:

Alcohol and the Immune System

Dipak Sarkar, Ph.D., D.Phil., M. Katherine Jung, Ph.D., and  H. Joe Wang, Ph.D.

“Clinicians have long observed an association between excessive alcohol consumption and adverse immune-related health effects such as susceptibility to pneumonia. In recent decades, this association has been expanded to a greater likelihood of acute respiratory stress syndromes (ARDS), sepsis, alcoholic liver disease (ALD), and certain cancers; a higher incidence of postoperative complications; and slower and less complete recovery from infection and physical trauma, including poor wound healing.”

The word sobering comes to mind! Let’s have some more:

“There are a number of ways alcohol impairs your immune system, making you more likely to get sick.  First, it’s important to know that the microbes living in your intestines, your gut’s microbiome, plays an important role in fighting diseases. This happens in many ways that we’re just beginning to understand. When you drink a lot of alcohol, it has many negative effects on your digestive system. It damages the epithelial cells in your intestines, making it harder to absorb many nutrients. It also severely disturbs your gut’s microbiome, significantly altering the balance of healthy and unhealthy bacteria. Alcohol affects the way health gut microbes interact with the immune system. Alcohol also disrupts the gut barrier, allowing more bacteria to pass into the blood. These rogue bacteria can cause inflammation in the liver and may lead to liver damage.  Alcohol doesn’t just affect the function of the digestive tract. It also affects the respiratory system. Excessive drinking may impair the function of immune cells in the lungs and upper respiratory system, leading to increased risk for pneumonia, tuberculosis, and acute respiratory distress syndrome, or ARDS. Because the immunity of the mucus is impaired in both the lungs and digestive tract, any disease can become more severe.” (Recovery Ways)

It’s there in black and white. It’s not controversial. Try this – https://www.consumeraffairs.com/news/why-drinking-too-much-may-cause-lung-disease-070714.html It’s established and known science. With this current virus there are no drugs that can cure if, no vaccine as yet. The medical interventions are there to support the body as it fights the virus. The only thing that will defeat the virus is our own body’s immune system. Our body becomes our life saving drug store. Would you take the one thing that could potentially save your life and weaken it, damage it and make it less effective? No, of course not, but that’s exactly what you will be doing if you drink alcohol, (let’s say excessively), during this crisis. Your immune system is damaged by alcohol so if you want to give your immune system the best chance of beating this virus, stop drinking. I’m against being directed what to do but these are indeed strange times. We are told to stay in. I follow that advice because it could keep me alive. If you have a problem with drink like I had, here’s my advice; stop drinking, it’s the perfect opportunity and it could save your life.

Oh and if you do decide to stop right now, follow some of the sober blogs I follow. You’ll get the support and encouragement you need and you’ll hopefully see that giving up isn’t about denial, it’s about opportunity and freedom. Post Corona you’ll be glad you did it.

Stay safe. Jim X

Finally – Being Sober Trumps Drinking Booze! (No Contest)

To anyone reading this who is doing dry January or is just a few weeks into going alcohol free, I know what you’re going through! It feels like denial, it’s difficult, you’re giving up something you like, is it worth it you think. These are the things probably going through your mind.

After 4 months and after experiencing many of those same mental tortures I can say this; it does get easier, you will feel the benefits, the cravings lessen, even though the pressures do not, but something else then happens. Or at least it did for me and I know for many others that have stopped drinking.

Something magical happens. A turning point, a revelation if you like. You start to see giving up alcohol as preferable to drinking it. Sounds simple but it’s actually monumental. What started as denial and giving up becomes like receiving something wonderful and it feels liberating.

I’ve had a few experiences like that in the last month but yesterday was something else. I had a day out in London where not only did I not drink, I didn’t at any point want a drink , I was pleased to be sober. No doubts no qualms. It felt quite simply great. Best day out in years.

It started by the simple act of driving to the station. Normally a day out in London in the past meant lots of alcohol so no car to station but asking for lifts or ordering a taxi. First act of liberation. I then arrived in London and had arranged to meet a small group of fellow Soberistas; a small group of people that I’d never met before but who shared the same goal of giving up booze. No difficult moments or questions with this bunch. None of us drank alcohol. That in itself was liberating. Straight into the nearest pub for a coffee. Then on to one of this great little cafes you can still find tucked away in the less fashionable parts of Covent Garden. Poached eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, sourdough, a brilliant full breakfast all for just £6.50. All the time, laughter, great conversation, more coffees, fruit juices. We were having a great time. Why did I ever believe you need alcohol to feel at ease with new people? Within a couple of hours it was as if we’d known each other for years. Simply liberating.

Then later hopping on tubes, visiting the V and A , Hyde Park, swapping stories and experiences. A great day, getting to know new people and actually listening to each other not getting slowly pissed. After a wonderful day full of enriching, warm conversations and companionship we went our separate ways. I actually stayed awake on the train, drove myself home and was then able to spend my evening productively. It was so much better than getting drunk, talking garbage and falling asleep on the train, waiting to be picked up and the losing the rest of the evening and the next day to a hangover.

During my day out I never once felt denied or that I was missing out. If anything I look back at all my drunken trips and now realise how much I was missing out on those days. Lost opportunities. For me the penny finally dropped. Life was better sober.

I hope those in the early stages of not drinking stick it out. After the struggle really does come the liberation. Many say the same thing. I have come to see that life is better, brighter and more fulfilling sober. Yes it takes time but it’s worth it. Try it but give yourself time to get the conditioning and social pressure out of your system.

As a postscript I have to add that spending the day with other sober people really made the day extra special. Thanks, you know who you are! Just think, if we were still drinking we would never have met! Let’s do it again soon. There may be some who might want to join us! 😀

Jim x

It’s Bloody Friday- Sodding Craving Time! AARGGH!

I knew this would happen. It’s my 6th day without alcohol. Sunday to Thursday all pretty good. Sleep not great, no sweaty shakes or massive cravings and then comes Friday. I’ve been dreading today because I know for me that my drinking patterns and my cravings are more social, associative and conditioned rather than psysiological. No cravings until today. Simply because it’s a Friday. When I did a three month challenge earlier this year the same thing happened , the craving mainly came on those days and ocassions I and many others associate with drink. And it is strange because I know alcohol is an addictive drug and changes our brain chemistry and yet it seems that the associations alcohol has for me with certain days and ocassions cannot be explained by addictive properties alone because if it was just about dealing with withdrawal that withdrawal and its effects should be consistent and they are not.

When I was drinking and trying to moderate, it was the same. My non alcohol days tended to be Mondays and Tuesdays. Wednesdays and Thursdays were usually not too bad but Friday was when my drinking gloves came off, so to speak.

I think it goes back to my teaching days. Working in a London secondary school through the 80s and 90s was tough and emotionally exhausting. Friday night was when we separated work from the weekend. Drinking was the fast route to fun, abandonment, dodgy romantic liasons and leaving work behind. The trouble is you do that for 20 odd years and when work changes the conditioning still kicks in. I’m semi retired now, Fridays do not have the same end of working week connotations and yet I still feel the same build up towards wanting and expecting a drink. Today I knew I was not going to have one and boy did the cravings start.

I decided to divert myself. Get on the exercise bike, cook some apples, move plants, more exercise- inside I was screaming at myself-“But I want a drink I don’t want any more fucking excercise. Get a beer, sod the blog, enjoy yourself.” I cooked a dinner, I wanted wine. My partner who normally doesn’t drink fancied a beer. (She doesn’t khow I’ve stopped drinking but just thinks I am on a health kick). What is going on, who is doing this to me? I turn on the telly and the two presenters on the BBC One Show start pouring vodka. 7pm on a family show and they’re bloody drinking vodka, the bastards. A guest on the show, Ben Elton, is offered one. He tells the presnters he loves vodka and says “I’m an evangalist for booze!” Suddenly I feel like I’m the only person in the whole country not having a drink. The impulse to get myself a drink was strong. I really felt I was missing out.

BUT THEN……..

I reminded myself of the many things I’ve seen in other people’s blogs about resisting cravings and reminded myself that I would not be able to have one drink and stop. I also reminded myself how I’ve started to feel a lot better physically and that I have to see things through because things do become easier and better. Then I thought, “I know I’ll write a post about it.” Purge those feelings in a hastily thrown together post which is what this is.

How do I feel now?

Better. It’s 8 pm. The worst is behind me. They’ll be no hangover tomorrow and I’ll have met my first big challenge. I’ll say it again- the knowledge that people in this blogging space are either striving to overcome their physical or psychologiacl dependance on alcohol or have succeeded in doing so is a massive support. For me as well having had that 3 month no alcohol challenge earlier in the year has really helped prepare me for nights like tonight. It really can’t be underestimated how tough giving up the booze is. Depite all the benefits we know about, many of us enjoyed our booze and its not easy saying no to it especially when it’s celebrated constantly in front of our eyes. But just because it’s ubiquitous doesn’t make it right or good or desirable. I’ve made my choice. I want to enjoy my life sober and if a few tough days is what it takes to achieve that so be it.

Right, feel better now. A cup of tea I think.

Jim x

Alcohol is not the problem- I am

Well let me qualify that attention seeking title. Of course alcohol is a powerful, addictive psychoactive drug that can play havoc with minds and bodies and cause numerous problems for individuals and societies; but, if alcohol by itself was the problem, everyone who drank alcohol would be a problem drinker and that is again clearly not the case.

FINDING YOUR PLACE ON THE CONTINUUM

like most things, alcohol use and abuse is on a continuum. Obvious I know, but for me, I need to remind myself of that. I have enjoyed alcohol for many years and I’m already missing the thought of it three weeks before giving up. I am giving up because I’m rubbish at moderation and its impact on me means its time to choose- carry on with the alcohol with the negative impact it now has and risk early death and impaired living or give it up together and face the inevitable struggles and changes that go with abandoning a massively entrenched pattern of behaviour.

I’m recluctantly going for the second option. I say reluctantly because I would love to be able to be like my partner- a moderate, take it or leave it drinker. She can have a small glass of cider one day and then happily have no alcohol for weeks or months. She can enjoy A glass of wine and leave it there. I can’t. I have the cider, then want another, then maybe some wine and on and on it goes. I don’t get overly smashed because I have built up tolerance. I’m not at rock bottom,I don’t get aggressive but I know I can never be a moderate drinker. I have drunk heavily since college days, reining it in sometimes for work and family but drinking heavily to the point where I know it’s now doing me harm.

I’ve chosen to drink heavily over the years and the result is that I have lost the ability to control it when I do drink or I spend massive amounts of energy trying to control it in such a way that I do not enjoy myself. So there we have it, my partner and many friends are at the sensible end of the alcohol use spectrum and I’m going towards the other end.

Tried moderation

Yep, tried the moderation bit. I was so reluctant to give up my lovely alcohol and it’s seductive sensations that I was determined to control and master it. I counted units, kept bar graphs, had reminders on my phone to keep track of my drinking but all to no avail. Once I was in the pub or opened that wine, felt that first pleasurable wave of comfort, little voices would start saying, “You deserve this Jim, don’t become a miserable bastard like those abstainers, enjoy yourself- go on – have a drink boy.!”

So what’s different about me?

Yes this is the crux? Why do some people develop a problematic relationship with alcohol whilst others are fine? It will be a different answer I suppose for each drinker who develops a problem although there will be many things in common. For me it was growing up in a drinking culture, being anxious around girls, having an addictive risk taking personality, lots of reasons. But the reasons are, in a way, not important – I am where I am. Knowing what I know, I can now safely say that I need and want to try giving up alcohol completely.

Abstinence is easier than moderation

In January I had to lower my cholesterol. My doctor was suggesting statins. I didn’t want that and said that I’m sure if I cut out booze I would lose weight and less weight and no booze would bring my cholesterol down. It worked. I gave myself three months and my cholesterol lowered. I went back to the doctor but she said risk was still there due to a family history of heart attacks. back to square one and I thought,”why did I bother?” and started drinking again. But during that three months I noticed some strange things and that is what helped me reach my conclusion to stop drinking in three weeks time. More of that next time. This post has gone on long enough!

Thanks for dropping by

Jim x PS any constructive criticism/advice on blog (layout/content/organisation what’s missing) gratefully received

Song to check out – “I drink” by Mary Gauthier. Now an ex drinker. Great song by a great lady- one day I shall attend one of her songwriting workshops!