Guest Blogger for Christmas – E. Scrooge

Guest blogger indeed. No, it’s just that Jim couldn’t be bothered. He’s out somewhere struggling to get through another festive afternoon without alcohol. What a pathetic idiot. So anyway, he’s out the way so I thought I’d use this opportunity to tell a few home truths in his absence.

First things first. I know my name Scrooge has unfairly become synonymous with meanness and parsimony (this is where the yanks have to look up the long words in a dictionary ) but in truth I was a man before my time. I never give presents and I make my staff use things until they are worn through. Now everyone is doing “no presents” and recycling old stuff, things I was doing in my time, but it’s not called mean spirited now it’s called environmentally sound and even “cool”. It makes me sick!

And then there’s you bloggers. Ok credit where credits due, you’ve given up the drink and that’s saving you some money. Anyone spending less money is good in my books but that’s it as far as it goes in praising you. The reality is you all disgust me . When I look through the posts on here all I see is “well done” or “keep going” or the most sickening sentiment “we’re with you”. All this reaching out to others when you’d be better off trying to make some money or fiddling your tax returns.

The worst thing is from what I can see you’re not doing it just because it’s Christmas , you actually seem to care for each other. Excuse me while I vomit! No good will come from kind of behaviour believe me.

If you want to get on in the world look to the likes of dear Donald, now that’s a man after my own heart- selfish, self centered and not giving a fuck about anyone else; thank God not everyone is like you bloggers.

Anyway enough of this nonsense, there’s some Carol singers outside and I need to throw some kitchen waste at them. So I hope you lot choke on your Christmas dinners ( I bet some of you lot are even vegetarians!) don’t get the presents you were hoping for and all have a miserable Christmas. Oh and I don’t believe half of you… bet you sneak in a sly drink during the day. Bah Humbug to the lot of you!

Ebeneezer Scrooge

18 thoughts on “Guest Blogger for Christmas – E. Scrooge

  1. nomorebeer2019

    “there’s some Carol singers outside and I need to throw some kitchen waste at them”… Oooo Scrooge, you’re eco friendly too ! Thanks for saving the planet and spreading joy & laughter and taking the time to mention fellow bloggers even on Xmas Eve !!! ❤ xoxo Anne the Red Nosed Sober Reindeer

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  2. sobrietytree

    Did Ebeneezer just say fuck? 😂😂😂
    Ah Jim, you are so creative. It’s just wonderful.
    As a side note, someone once gave T and me a red velvet gold-trimmed pillow for xmas that said Bah Humbug, in embroidery!! To that I’d say that one is what one gives. 😉
    Oh and this part: “you actually seem to care for each other.” — that’s the heart of it… for me… for this reason, I love it here in Sobriety Blogland…
    Merry xmas Scrooge, you know we all love you. 😊❤️💚

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  3. clairei47

    You miserable old sod Ebeneezer!! It’s a good job us bloggers have Jim on our side, he’s our Bob Cratchit for sure! Come on Scrooge, join us sober bloggers, you know you want to! 😉 I think you’ll enjoy our little world where we all care.
    Happy Christmas to you … we’re all here for you! ❤️😁🎄

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      1. Dana Pescrillo

        I did have a nice Christmas, but different. My sister drank and a nephew drank too much, and it was eye opening to realize that could have been me. I no longer want to be one of those who gets like that anymore; no judging to my family, as I’ve been there too many times, but I’m better for staying sober. This I know. May your Christmas have been a great one! Lia

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